


I Guess I was Running from Something

by anakatieskywalker



Series: Recovery of a Jedi [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Luke is Rey's dad, Rey Skywalker, yeah there are spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 18:37:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5508506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anakatieskywalker/pseuds/anakatieskywalker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The people you love become<br/> ghosts inside of you <br/>and like this you keep them alive."</p>
<p>Luke is having trouble coming to terms with all that has happened, and runs from the ghosts of his daughter that he keeps on seeing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Guess I was Running from Something

He’d seen faces like hers all over the galaxy, especially right after Ben’s massacre. Han and Leia were both grieving in their own ways, Leia planning the burials, and smoothing over diplomatic relations, while Han went back to doing what he did best, odd jobs for the space mafias that still existed.

For a while, Luke stuck with Leia, it was his way of making sure that she was fine, or at least that’s what he told himself. It was really because he didn’t know what to do with himself. He’d lost his students, his nephew, and even his daughter all in one go.

It was when Leia started pushing her own grief aside to try and help him that he left. He had overstayed his welcome in his eyes, a constant reminder to his sister that he had lost her only son.

So Luke did what he’d hoped to never do. He disappeared, a self appointed exile that would only end when he was really and truly needed. 

The only one who knew where he was going would be R2, and he was sworn to secrecy until the time was right, and his puzzle was yet to be complete. 

He space hopped for a little bit, trying to outrun his own grief, something, he discovered, that was near impossible. Everywhere he went, he thought he saw Rey. He saw his little girl on worlds that she’d never been to, and every time he was let down.

Perhaps that was why he started travelling faster.

 

One of his final stops was the planet Jakku, to meet up with an old friend of the Republic, turned Resistance, turned Rebellion. They spoke for hours, about their missions together, and Luke even spent the night.

The next day, they delved into the darker topics, such as the reason for Luke’s sudden visit, and, for once, someone understood. It was supposed to help, to get away from the places where all of the terrible things had happened, and maybe, if they got far enough, they could outrun the flashbacks.

A futile attempt, but still one that had to be made.

 

As they sat outside, putting off the inevitable goodbye, Luke once again was haunted by the image of his daughter. 

It was a girl, not much older than Rey had been, looking as though he imagined his daughter would, had she ever lived on a desert planet like his home world of Tatooine, a place he avoided now, for all the ghosts that haunted it.

She was trekking down a sand dune, away from the wreckage of one of the old Star Destroyers, dragging a sled behind her. To Luke, it seemed she was new to the all encompassing sand, as she didn’t cover her face, and there were so many ways that the sand could cover her small frame.

“She’s relatively new here. Rumor has it her family sold her to Unkar Plutt until they could afford to come and buy her back.” Luke’s head snapped towards his friend when he spoke, and he did his best to stop comparing her to his little girl.

“You mean she’s alone?” Luke felt slightly hoarse as his eyes locked onto the girl once more.

“I know, it’s a shame. She scavenges, takes what she finds to Plutt for food, and then she goes to this little shelter she’s made out of one of the many ruins from the war.” Luke could feel his friend watching him, as he was starting to stand.

“I’ll be back in a little bit.” He says, trying not to show too much of what he’s planning on doing, “And then I’m afraid I’ll have to keep moving.” Luke slowly walked away, trying not to show the energy that was running through him for the first time since the loss of his child. 

He watched her, thinking about what she needed, as she struggled up a dune, towards the hub of the small settlement. He spent a few units on some of the scavenged items, and a bolt of cloth before he stood off to the side as she traded in what she found for some lousy rations.

As she walked away from the settlement, the wind picked up, carrying the sand into the air with it, and she had to cover her face briefly. That’s when Luke took his opportunity.

“Excuse me, young one.” She turned, and Luke could have sworn his heart stopped for how much it looked like his little Rey was staring at him, but he shook the feeling away. 

Rey was gone; he had to live with that. He couldn’t sense her in the Force anymore, not since that fateful day that Ben took her away from him, as he left his own family behind.

Luke cleared his throat, and continued, “I noticed that you seem to be having a bit of an issue with the sand, and I was wondering if perhaps I could help you?” The girl eyed him warily, and hid her ration packets behind her back.

“No, no don’t worry. I’m not asking you to give up your food, just- perhaps you could allow an old man like me to help such a young person such as yourself?” It was the kind of line that would have made Rey giggle, what with how often he and Han joked about getting old.

The girl just tilts her head to the side, and after a moment, speaks like she hasn’t in a while. “You don’t look old.”

Luke chuckled, despite the fact that his heart dropped once again. He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up, there was no way it could be his Rey. His Rey was gone, because of what Ben had done, because he had failed as a Jedi master, and as a father. “Oh, I may not look it, but I feel it.”

After that, he taught her how to properly cover her face and arms with the cloth he had bought, and he even gave her a pair of goggles, which she would grow into eventually. 

The last thing he gave her had been something he’d come across just before going and meeting her. A staff, it had probably once been part of a blaster or a cannon on one of the old ships that were spread across the desert. 

However, Luke did his best to think past the origin, what once had been used to harm, could now be used to protect and help her climb up the dunes that surrounded the settlement, and the land she had to cover.

After that, he walked away, doing his best to not think about the girl that looked so much like his daughter. He cursed himself for not finding out her name, but what was done was done. 

So Luke went and said goodbye to his old friend, and gave him the missing piece of the map that would find him, only to be given out when it was explicitly clear that there was no other options left. 

Once that was done, he got back into his ship, and took off, once again running from the memories of the horrible things in his past.


End file.
